Medically Reviewed by Zilpah Sheikh, MD on June 06, 2024
10 Tips to Improve Intimacy While Dealing With RA

10 Tips to Improve Intimacy While Dealing With RA

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Staying intimate with your partner can be challenging when you are dealing with rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. Chronic pain can take a toll on your physical and emotional wellbeing. 

One study also found that people with rheumatoid arthritis had a higher risk of sexual dysfunction. 

In the following slides, you’ll find ways to improve your sex life with rheumatoid arthritis. 

Plan Your Sex Life

Plan Your Sex Life

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While spontaneous sex might sound fun, planning for sex keeps your rheumatoid arthritis symptoms from getting in the way of your pleasure. Ways to plan for sex include: 

  • Timing pain medication to work during sex 
  • Saving your energy and getting rest throughout the day 
  • Using extra pillows for joint support 

Consider the time of day when planning intimate times with your partner. Choose times where you’ll feel more rested. If you wake up with stiffness, the afternoon or evening might be better timed to have sex. 

Be Transparent with Your Partner

Be Transparent with Your Partner

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Open, honest communication can help you and your partner learn more about what you want, manage expectations, and overcome challenges together. Talking to your partner about what feels good and doesn’t can also improve intimacy and reduce fear about pain during sex. 

Discussing sexual needs with your partner can help you get on the same page. Look at sex with your partner as a shared problem and work on it together. Rheumatoid arthritis affects you and your partner. Talking about your desires and needs can remove self-doubt around your condition. 

Save Your Energy

Save Your Energy

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Rheumatoid arthritis pain doesn’t come and go on a schedule. It can vary day to day and even within the hour. When you feel good and rested, take advantage of that feeling and get intimate. Chronic pain ebbs and flows, so working with it, not against it, can improve your sex life. 

Keep an Open Mind

Keep an Open Mind

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It’s okay if a specific position you once did doesn’t work anymore. Try new positions experiment with new ways to find pleasure. Using creativity, patience, and planning with your partner can help you rediscover the intimacy you once had. 

Get Creative

Get Creative

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You can try new things together when you’re open to creative solutions. If something doesn’t work, try something else. 

Some ways to get creative include using sexual aids like vibrators, lubricants, pillows, or furniture for support. 

Warm Up with Baths or Massages

Warm Up with Baths or Massages

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Use a warm bath or massage at the beginning of your intimate session as foreplay. Getting your partner involved can help soothe sore muscles and joints and prepare you for great sex. 

Talk with Your Doctor

Talk with Your Doctor

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If you’re struggling with your sex life, talking to your doctor can help them refer you to a psychologist or OB-GYN. By getting a specialist referral, you can work together to treat the underlying problem keeping you from enjoying intimacy with your partner.  

Stay Physically Active

Stay Physically Active

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Staying active with light exercise can strengthen your muscles and improve your range of motion. This can keep you agile and reduce stress on your joints. 

When you feel fit and active, your sex drive is also higher. Working on your muscle strength can improve your sex life and overall physical and mental health. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

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If you’re having difficulty opening up to your partner or talking to a trusted friend, you can ask your therapist for assistance. Your occupational therapist can help generate ways to make sexual activities feel less painful or stressful. Your therapist can help you with: 

  • Positioning 
  • Pain management
  • Modifying daily routines
  • Fatigue management
Use Lubricant

Use Lubricant

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Vaginal dryness is a common symptom of arthritis. Sex without natural lubrication can be painful. In such cases, using water-based lubricants can help prepare you for penetrative sex.